DJ Funkyfoot: Give Cheese a Chance by Tom Angleberger

Author:Tom Angleberger [Angleberger, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams
Published: 2022-08-27T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 7

At the first hole, President Horse G. Horse spent five minutes lining up his shot and fiddling with his golf club.

Finally, he said, “Do you think I should bank my shot off the octopus or the squid?”

“The squid, sir, definitely the squid.”

Actually, I didn’t care, I just wanted him to get started.

The president took a huge swing and hit the ball way too hard! It bounced off the octopus and came right back and hit me in the head!

“OUCH!”

“You got what you deserved,” said the president, sipping about a gallon of his red soda. “That was terrible advice.”

“But . . . I told you to hit the squid,” I groaned. I was so dizzy I forgot to say “sir” or “Mr. President.”

“That’s exactly what I did!”

“No, you hit the octopus . . . and the butler,” I moaned.

“I did not! I hit the squid!”

“But—”

“Say that I hit the squid!”

“What?”

“You have to do what I want, and I want you to say I hit the squid! Remember, I am the president and you are my butler.”

I remembered.

“Yes, sir, Mr. President, you hit the squid,” I lied.

I do not like to lie. My mother raised me never to lie. Of course, she also raised me to be a hip-hop star. Things weren’t working out the way she wanted. OR the way I wanted either.

But they were working out the way the president wanted.

“If I hadn’t listened to you, that shot would have gone in,” he said. “So just write ‘hole in one’ on the scorecard.”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

At least this meant we could go on to the second hole. We had already wasted ten minutes!

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